In Your Arms
by MelBellSG1
Summary: After the events of "Company of Thieves," Jack returns to Colorado Springs to find out why Sam has been avoiding his calls. S/J established relationship. Please see warning in author's notes before reading. M for adult themes and language.


**A/N:** **WARNING: This story mentions rape.** This little fic is set after "Company of Thieves", Season 10. It deals with a sensitive topic, so please heed the warning. Big thanks, once again, to my lovely Beta, Rach. Also, a big thank you to everyone who favourited, followed, and reviewed my first story! Feedback is always welcome :)

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 **In Your Arms**

It was past midnight by the time Jack made his way up Sam's front stairs and onto her porch. His heart started to beat a little faster. It had been over four weeks since he'd last seen her, and almost a week since he had even heard her voice. The last few days had been long and difficult for all of them. The situation with the Odyssey had been a close one, and so he was predictably relieved when he had received the call to say that the ship had returned to earth safely, along with SG-1. Surprisingly though, he hadn't heard from Sam since she had beamed back, over 30 hours beforehand, despite numerous messages left for her to call him. It was uncharacteristic of her and concerning, which is why he had made his way back to Colorado Springs to see her.

He thought about knocking, but considering the time, he pulled out his set of keys and let himself in, calling out a soft, "Sam?" as he entered. He found her curled up on the lounge, an empty glass and a bottle of wine on the coffee table, the television playing an old black and white movie in the background. A soft smile graced his lips as he saw her lying so at peace.

He stood at the edge of the room for a moment longer, taking in the sight of the woman whom he loved so dearly. So happy to see with his own eyes that she was once again home and safe. He considered leaving her be to get some probably much needed rest, but the urge to touch her was too strong, so he made his way over to the couch.

Sam heard Jack come through the front door, the familiar steps causing a wave of anxiety as he approached. The guilt washed over her as she was reminded of the fact that she hadn't returned any of his calls. The reason behind the avoidance once again leaking to the front of her consciousness, causing a tear to break free from the corner her eye and run down her smooth face.

She stayed lying still on the couch until she heard him walk around and stand in front of her. The idea of pretending to be asleep crossed her mind, but as she felt his presence so very close to her, she couldn't resist the urge to open her eyes. She looked up at him, and her gaze was met with warm brown eyes. A mix of concern, love and desire evident within their depths.

Slowly she sat up, leaving enough room for him to sit down next to her. He hesitated for a moment, still unsure of why she had been so obviously avoiding him. Had something happened that he didn't know about? Had she met someone else? Was she having second thoughts about their relationship? The possible scenarios raced through his mind at an alarming speed.

Cautiously, he lowered himself to the vacant position on the couch, never taking his eyes off of hers. He was looking, searching for answers within the depths of her blue eyes. They glistened with a mix or tiredness and unshed tears. "Hey you" he said, breaking the silence, and reaching forward, he brushed a strand of hair back from her face. She closed her eyes at the touch, so desperate to feel him, and yet not quite sure she was ready to be touched. His sudden presence caused an unexpected surge in emotions and she found herself missing the numbness that had occupied her soul for most of the past week. She realised now that her avoidance of him had been an unhealthy response to the situation. She needed him now more than ever. There was no one she trusted with her life more, so surely she could trust him with this too. And yet she was afraid. Afraid of his reaction. Afraid that he would overreact and lash out in fit of anger and hate. Afraid that he would no longer find her desirable…

Without any words, Sam leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. Jack held her close- so glad for the physical contact. Warmth radiated through her body from the touch, competing with the coldness which had been consuming her. After a few minutes he eased her off of him, holding her face in one hand and looking into her eyes once again.

"Hey," he said gently, concern evident in his voice. "You ok?"

It was apparent now that there was definitely something the matter. At least her reaction to his presence had eased the niggling worry that it was something to do with them. The only obvious reason that he could think of was the loss of Colonel Emerson. He and Sam had known each other for years, developing a friendly relationship based on mutual respect. Emerson had been a good man, and Jack himself had regarded him highly. He knew that Sam would be hurting at the loss, but it didn't quite explain her avoidance.

Instead of answering the question, Sam leaned forward, once again flinging her arms around him, gripping him as if he might vanish at any moment. This time she could no longer contain the barrage of emotions that swept through her, as she began to sob into Jack's neck. She was surprised by her own reaction. She was a seasoned soldier, used to dealing with dangerous situations and the consequences that came after. Most people couldn't even fathom the things she'd been through and survived. She thought that she'd been dealing with this too…if a feeling of numbness and disconnectedness could be classed as 'dealing'. She had been lucky, in that work had kept her mind occupied since the event. But now, in the safety and comfort of Jack's warm arms, all of her initial emotions had come flooding back with a vengeance.

Jack let her cry, his heart breaking at hearing her sobs. Her warm tears starting to wet through the collar of his shirt. He held onto her tightly, gently rocking her, as if she were a young child needing comfort, until he felt the tears start to ease, only faint sniffles remaining.

Sam pulled away, slightly embarrassed by her complete and utter break down.

"Sorry" she said. "I don't know what came over me."

"S'Ok" he replied. "You're not the first woman I've made cry," he said, hoping that his pathetic attempt at humour wouldn't make things worse. "You gonna tell me what this is about? Is it because of Emerson?" He prompted.

She didn't deny it, but instead diverted her gaze before saying, "He was a good man, a good friend. He didn't deserve to go like that."

"No, he didn't." It hadn't escaped his attention that she couldn't look at him. "But that's not all is it? There's something else you're not telling me…"

She looked back at him briefly, before looking away again. Jack picked up her hand and started stroking the back of it with his thumb, in a subtle attempt to get her to start talking. After so many years working with him in the field, seeing him kill men with his bare hands, experiencing his gruffness, she still couldn't get over the tenderness that he showed her when they were alone together.

"No," she said quietly, looking down at their now joined hands, "that's not all."

She looked back up at him, before tearing her gaze away and staring across the room. "But that should be all that matters, right?" She continued, her voice becoming slightly raised and agitated. "I mean,.. that's what I should be most upset about! Nothing compares to the loss of his life! I feel so guilty for even letting anything else get to me. What kind of a person does that make me?"

She stood up, pacing within the confines of the room, as Jack looked on concerned.

"And I was doing ok with it all too. I just don't know what is wrong with me! I'm stronger than this! Hell, I've been tortured countless times, I've lost people I love, I've seen whole worlds destroyed! So this is just stupid!" she yelled, as she sank back down onto the couch. She rubbed her hands through her hair again, before letting her head rest in the palms of her hands, looking down at the ground.

"Woah, woah, Sam slow down. What are you talking about?" Jack stopped her, clueless as to her ramblings. Was this to do with Emerson, or not?

After a brief silence, and another sigh, she met his eyes again.

"It was Anateo…he…what he did to me…." she began, but then her voice broke and gave way to tears one more time.

"C'mere" Jack said, and pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head, and rocking her in a soothing motion. His blood started to boil at the implication of her words. He could only guess as to what she was getting at, and it was enough to make him wish that Anateo was still alive so that he could kill him himself, in the most painful way possible. He suddenly had absolutely no idea what to say to her, his own emotions a mix of anger towards the Lucian Alliance, and concern for the woman that he loved.

After a moment, Sam pulled away, wiping her eyes and yelled, "Damnit! What is wrong with me? I mean, I'm not the first woman in the military to be raped while in the line of duty. And really, it's kind of surprising that it hasn't happened before with the amount of times we've been held captive!"

"Sam…" Jack interrupted. He so badly wanted to yell out and punch something, but knew his anger would do Sam no good. Right now she needed a rock, and that was what he was going to be. He could kick someone's ass later. "It's ok to feel whatever you're feeling, you know, " he said instead, unsure of the right thing to say. "It doesn't make you weak."

She turned away from him and put her head back in her hands.

"You know what the worst part is?" she asked. Jack just continued to look on quietly, not quite sure what to do.

"I let him. I just let him do it. I didn't even get to put up a fight because he threatened to kill some of the crew if I caused him any trouble. And his moronic goons just looked on with the most god-awful smirks on their faces. And I just lay there…and let it happen."

The anger that was brewing in her was unexpected. After it had happened she had felt sad, defeated and humiliated. This is the first time that she had felt full-on anger. She was angry at Anateo, and she was angry at herself for feeling weak, for letting this all get to her.

"Fuck!" She yelled out, as she picked up a book that had been lying next to her, and threw it across the room, where it hit the wall with a thud.

Jack was lost. He couldn't imagine what she must be feeling. He knew she would hate nothing more than to feel as helpless as she must have at the time. Sam was a fighter, and a brilliant one at that! There is nothing she hated more than feeling helpless when there is a fight to be had. No man or woman deserved to go through that. Ever.

With absolutely no idea what to say, he reached for her and pulled her to his chest once again. She let him do so with no resistance, putting her head on his chest and clutching at his shirt. She had no more tears left to cry. Jack stroked her hair with one hand, and rubbed large soothing circles on her back with the other. "I'm so sorry Sam. I am so so sorry" he whispered softly into her ear.

They remained that way for quite some time, until Jack quietly said, "Come on, let's get you to bed," hoping that sleep was just what she needed. Standing, he pulled her with him by the hands. For a moment they stood there looking into each other's eyes, hands held low in front of them. She didn't know why she had been so worried to tell Jack what had happened on the ship. Looking into his eyes now, she was overwhelmed by the compassion and love that she could see in there. She should have known that he would be supportive of her.

With one last glance, he leaned forward, giving her a chaste kiss on the lips and then gently guided her towards the bedroom.

When they reached the bedroom, Jack removed his jacket and pants, so that he was just in his t-shirt and his boxers, as Sam removed her sweatshirt. Pulling back the covers, he hopped into the bed, patting the spot next to him until Sam curled up on her side with her back to him. Reaching down he pulled the covers up over the both of them and wrapped his arm around her stomach, pulling her flush against his front.

"Try to get some sleep" he prompted. A small smile graced his lips as he heard a quiet, but cheeky "Yes, Sir" in response. She was going to be ok. He knew she would have a lot of things to deal with, but she would be ok.

A few minutes of silence passed, before she rolled over in his arms, wrapping her arm over his body and settling her head near his shoulder. "Thank you" She said softly.

"For what?" he asked.

"For coming here, for being here, for not flying off the handle…for just being you."

Kissing the top of her head, he replied, "Always, Sam. Always."

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 **A/N:** Thanks for reading. I was always under the impression that something had happened to Sam, between Emerson getting shot, and her being returned to the rest of the crew. She was very upset. Plus there was the mention of how long she'd been gone for, and also the remarks that Anateo made towards her. I was always left with an unsettled feeling after that scene.


End file.
